The Truth No One Tells You About Marriage—and Why We’re Still Here

Marriage Is Beautiful — But It’s Also Real Work

On September 4, 2021, I married my best friend, Michael Watson. We didn’t get a handbook at the altar. No instructions, no secret formula. Just two imperfect people making a covenant before a perfect God.

Let me say this loud and clear: God is the only reason we’re still married. If He wasn’t at the center, we wouldn’t have made it.“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” (Psalm 127:1)

Marriage Will Shake You and Shape You

There have been days I’ve cried, questioned, and wanted to walk away. And there have been days filled with laughter, peace, joy, and deep love. Marriage is both. It grows you up fast.

A friend once asked me, “Why haven’t you left after everything?” I told her, “Keep living. You don’t know what you’ll fight for until it’s your turn.”

My vow wasn’t just to my husband. It was to God first. This isn’t about convenience. This is about a covenant. That’s what keeps me grounded when things get tough.

Real Advice for Married Folks Who Are Really in It

1. You're One Now—Act Like It Marriage makes you one. “The two shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) That’s not poetry, that’s purpose. So it’s strange to me when married folks stay tight with people who disrespect their spouse. That’s weird behavior—and I don’t tolerate it. The way my boundaries are set up? If you come for my husband, you don’t get access to me. Also, once you’re married, your family (mama, daddy, sister, cousin, all of them) are no longer your first priority. Your spouse is. Period. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife…” (Genesis 2:24). You honor your family, but you protect your marriage first.
   

2. Speak Life, Not Death

   The world already tries to break them. Don’t let your words do the same. Be their peace, not their pressure. Be their reminder that God still sees them.“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21) Speak love. Speak life. Even when you're mad.
   

3. Pray More Than You Clap Back

   Some stuff doesn’t need your mouth—it needs your knees. Learn when to pray instead of pounce.“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)

   God hears you, and He can deal with what your emotions can't fix.
   

4. Protect Your Marriage

   Stop running to everybody with your business. Not everyone deserves access. Some folks secretly root for your downfall.“Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

   Get you a prayer warrior friend or a therapist, but keep your covenant covered. Trust me, I have learned this the hard way.
   

5. Intimacy Is Necessary

   Let’s talk grown. Sex matters. Not just for physical needs, but emotional and spiritual connection too. It keeps your bond strong and shuts the enemy down.“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:3)

   Make time for it. Be intentional. And yes, get creative. That’s your person. Enjoy each other.
   

6. Grace Is Not Weakness

   You’ll have to forgive more than you expected. That doesn’t mean accept anything, but it does mean you love with the same grace you expect to receive.“Love keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:5) Marriage will stretch your patience, but it will also stretch your ability to love like Jesus.
   

7. Marriage Can Be Fun—Let It Be

   Yes, marriage is serious, but it’s also full of laughter, inside jokes, silly moments, and stolen kisses. It’s what you make it. Listen—I get annoyed every time I see Michael’s hands in my $100 facial cream. That stuff is not for him. But I also laugh, because that’s part of doing life together. Those little things? They matter. Marriage isn’t supposed to feel like survival mode every day. Let joy live in your home.
   

8. Keep Showing Up Even on the hard days. Especially on the silent days. Choosing love daily is what marriage is.“Let us not grow weary in doing good… for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

   Stay long enough to see the fruit.
   

9. Stop Taking Advice from Everybody

   Let me say this with love: not everyone is qualified to speak into your marriage. Stop letting single friends, bitter coworkers, or people with broken perspectives shape how you see your spouse.

   Be careful who you vent to. Be careful who you let “pray over” you. Some people don’t want your marriage healed—they want it over. Some people mean well, but they’re speaking from their own trauma, not the truth. “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers.” (Psalm 1:1)
   

   Seek godly, wise, married counsel. People who don’t just talk about staying together—they live it. People who will check you, not just comfort you.
   

   Sometimes God is trying to fix your heart, but your circle is too busy hyping your hurt.
   

10. Remember: First and Foremost, You’re Friends

    We are far from perfect, but first and foremost, we are friends. That friendship is the foundation that holds us steady. As long as we hold on to that, I truly believe we will be okay. “A friend loves at all times.” (Proverbs 17:17)

Final Word: Don’t Let Go Too Soon

Marriage will test your patience, your pride, and your prayer life. But if God is truly in the center, it will grow you in ways you didn’t even know you needed.

Protect your spouse. Prioritize your peace. Let go of friendships that can’t walk with you anymore. Laugh hard. Pray harder. Love deeper. And trust that God is still writing your story.